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Cherish What is love? How would you characterize it?

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Love However as per Levine (2007) grown-up connections are exceptionally restrictive – we are continually being assessed by our accomplices. Unqualified positive respect

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Falling in adoration - a grave mental illness Plato Falling in affection is a period when the typical get to be maniacal Freud Cupid's bolt

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Chemistry of beginning to look all starry eyed at What are the physical responses that can go with 'becoming hopelessly enamored'? "high" feeling – energy, euphoria, happiness Cause – expanded movement of neurotransmitters in cerebrum [norepinephrine, dopamine, esp. phenylethylamine (PEA)] Plus endorphins (morphine like substances) - quieting chemicals Love "highs" don't last – more often than not 6-year and a half – perhaps in light of the fact that body creates resistance … sentimental love is brief. Withdrawal – loss of state of mind lifting chemicals – comparative impacts to withdrawal of amphets and loss of "quieting" endorphins – sensational breakups cause torment. Liebowitz (1983). Science of affection .

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Your words? Notable Trance Beguiling Amazed Exhilarated Sudden and extreme Trepidation Struck by Cupid's bolt Words to depict beginning to look all starry eyed at

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Romantic love and marriage around the globe Romantic love not just an European creation (created from the Medieval convention of dignified love). Sentimental love - experienced in all societies, albeit esteemed diversely between societies. The more people are self-ruling (ie. free, not bound by strict family or tribal ties), the more they consider sentimental love a necessity for selecting an accomplice The more bound by family or tribal ties, the less sentimental love is viewed as an essential.

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Romantic love is … Knee recognizes five segments of sentimental love: the conviction that affection vanquishes all; the conviction that every individual has one and only intimate romance; the desire that the darling will experience the goals of the significant other; unexplainable adoration is conceivable; and it is ideal to take after your heart than your head while picking an accomplice. Knee (1998)

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Intimacy, enthusiasm & duty Stenberg's model of affection comprises of closeness energy responsibility . Different sorts of affection emerge as each of these 3 segments is included in with the general mish-mash. These range from non-cherish (a nonattendance of every one of the 3) to consummate love (the nearness of each of the 3). Sternberg (1988)

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Falling in adoration - why and with whom??? On the off chance that you have ever been enamored – what pulled in you to your accomplice? Nearness SIMILARITY RECIPROCITY – when we get activities of preferring or cherishing, we tend to give back a similar reaction (Curtis and Miller, 1988) PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS

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Essential qualities required to support a positive relationship An understanding you are not generally right. A readiness to live for the most part in the present. Advancement of the other's prosperity furthermore your own. Dynamic collaboration with each other. An ability to acknowledge that one's accomplice is not great. Coates (1999)

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To keep your marriage overflowing, With affection in the marriage glass, Whenever you're wrong, let it out, Whenever you're correct, quiet down. Ogden Nash, 1962

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Stephen Levine – Demystifying love 9 things of adoration -all stages might be experienced for the duration of grown-up life -scope of conceivable outcomes of importance Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Stephen Levine – Demystifying love 1. Love is a glorified desire -to accomplish an enduring condition of interpersonal amicability with another – eg. bring up kids, effective profession and happiness regarding life -sexual joy and constancy -an agreeable feeling of independence and couplehood -help us to develop and adapt to life's requests Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Stephen Levine – Demystifying love 2. Love is a plan – an arrangement -what will the individual convey to my life? - deliberately consider potential accomplice's benefits -trades of trusts, desires and arrangements -youngsters in their first connections ordinarily don't think in these terms Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Stephen Levine – Demystifying love 3. Love is a connection -after the arrangement comes the connection -weaving together -sex encourages this connection Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Stephen Levine – Demystifying love 4. Love is an ethical responsibility -eg. a marriage or some kind of service -increases current standards of desires -individuals fluctuate in how genuinely they take their pledges – moral difficulty – coerce around eg. disloyalty, separate Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Stephen Levine – Demystifying love 5. Love is an administration procedure -adore exists freely AND in the security of every accomplice's psyche -both positive and negative (and now and then keep the negative private) -we ensure them – our accomplice needs the deception that we don't battle to love them -HIS relationship/HER relationship Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Stephen Levine – Demystifying love 6. Love is a drive of nature -science – eg. generation -how people carry on -all through the continually changing relationship Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Stephen Levine – Demystifying love 7. Love is a transient enthusiastic state various sentiments -delight, intrigue and sexual excitement Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Stephen Levine – Demystifying love 8. Love is a hallucination -we need to have confidence in the deception -interior procedures to keep up the relationship -society and esp media streamlines love just as everybody recognizes what love is Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Stephen Levine – Demystifying love 9. Cherish as a stop sign -why? - connected to fantasy – a resistance against self revelation -to end the enquiry – "I adore him/her" Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Stephen Levine – Demystifying love Verbs of adoration -falling -being -staying Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Staying in adoration -a study in grown-up development -working through numerous difficulties -placing "cash in the bank" – keeps up our glorified picture of accomplice - requires ability in the relationship Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Staying in adoration – indicators (Gottman) - capacity to repair their relationship – de-heightening of negative contemplations and positive respect for other in spite of issues - ladies' delicate presentation of issue and men's eagerness to remain required in the discussion - men's capacity to acknowledge impact from their accomplice - Humor – environment of positive feelings – useful for WHOLE family Gottman, J.M. (1998). Brain research and the investigation of the conjugal procedure. Yearly Review of Psychology, 49., 169-197 .

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Staying in adoration – 3 more abilities Genuineness – offering our inward world to the next (Fromm) Overcoming narcissism – putting the requirements of the other (and kids) on occasion in front of claim needs Negotiation and share basic leadership Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Assisting individuals to remain in adoration - speaking The ability to comprehend what one supposes and feels The readiness to disclose it to another The expertise to express the emotions and the thoughts with words Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Assisting individuals to remain in affection - listening An uncritical acknowledgment of what is said A consciousness of the significance existing apart from everything else for the speaker A grip of what is being said A feeling of benefit that he/she is available to hear what the speaker needs to say Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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Fair correspondence No verbally abusing No debilitating to leave, separate or other withdrawal technique No unnecessary ambushes on the other individual's powerlessness (vulnerabilities that they every know so well) Levine, S.B. (2007). Demystifying love. Plain talk for wellbeing experts. New York: Routledge.

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"In the event that you were going to pass on soon and had one and only telephone call you could make, who might you call and what might you say? … And why are you holding up?" Stephen Levine

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Dido – Thank you ( No Angel 2000) My tea's gone frosty, I'm asking why I got up at all The morning precipitation mists up my window And I can't see by any stretch of the imagination. What's more, regardless of the possibility that I would it'd be able to all be dim But your photo on my divider It advises me that it's not all that awful It's not all that awful. I drank a lot of the previous evening, Got bills to pay, My head just feels in torment I missed the transport And there'll be hellfire today. I'm late for work again And regardless of the possibility that I'm there They'll suggest that I won't not last the day.

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And then you call me and it's not all that terrible It's not that awful and … I need to thank you For giving me the greatest day of my life. Goodness just to be with you Is having the greatest day of my life. Push the entryway, I'm home finally And

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